Attitude, that is. My life seems to revolve around the notion that I get to reward myself for doing things that are natural requirements of life. Things that have existed for thousands of years, and all of a sudden I (and in my hopeful thinking, most of my generation) feel is "extra". Why, I ask you readers, is it necessary for me to grab that piece of chocolate and indulge because I've had a rough day? Is it really ok if I get to take an extra long shower because I need to de-stress an extra amount of time tonight since I had to stay up with one of the girls later than the norm? The answer is no, of course. And let me tell you why.
First of all, we all need to have a moment to ourselves. I genuinely believe that without a little "me time", a mama would lose her mind and become momster. That beast your children all know is lurking behind the smile and calm voice...I'm sure most of my friends have met my momster and thank goodness they are still my friends ;) Without further digression, I want to point out that while this mom time is deserved, its not something you should feel awarded. Let me tell you a story.
I married my husband while he was in his first year in the United States Navy. We went through some struggles as all newly weds do, as far as fighting because he's mean, or fighting because she is lazy....yes all things that were implied but never said to each others faces ;) And then we grew up a little and realized that our time together was far too short to be arguing over silly things that meant nothing. Discuss them and move on. Then we had our sweet baby girl Elli. She was quite the colic prone babe, and as much as I rocked, carried, bounced her, or eliminated EVERYTHING from my diet, she was still an upset little girl. I finally started her on formula and she was happier...albeit still a tad cranky, but much better than on breast milk. And looking back I wish I would have stuck it out and done more research, but alas, I didn't know any better and the past is the past. So my mind set started there.
Alone day in and day out, with a baby who seemingly wanted to send me to the looney bin. I didn't have very many friends in Virginia either. In fact I had one, and she lived a ways away so we never saw each other more than a couple times a month. So there we were. Me. Elli. And my entitlement to special treatment. She would go down for a full nights sleep early on, and I was finally able to cook or clean or read or watch tv and just be me....and often that included food. I would reward myself with something yummy from the deli and bakery sections (cheese and bread....mmm), and indulge is crummy tv or video games and let loose.
Then we moved to Hawaii.
You would think this was great, and for the most part, honestly, it was. Who doesn't love paradise? Except when your husband is gone 10-14 days a month in addition to 6 months a year, and working 5am-9pm any day his submarine was actually in port...and then he would spend the night there every third night. So basically in any given month (not on 6 month deployment) I would see him approximately 101 hours. And he was usually asleep. Oh how the entitlement grew! I deserved time to myself, life was hard, I needed this or that and I earned it!
Now I'm not going to go through my life from that point on but you get the idea. We had two more kids, I felt more worthy of special treatment and a good pat on the back, even if from myself, and life went on. We got out of the military and moved to North Dakota. Well we hit a point in our lives recently when my husband was able to be home with us for two months and during that time I took full advantage. I got to sleep in every other day (we take turns), I could nap if I wanted, I shared the housework with him, I went to the grocery store without the kids...life was good. Then he went to work. And I found myself dreading him being gone and me "having" to do all this alone. Well guess what? Thats life! I should be in no way rewarded for the fact that I get up in the morning whenever the first kid awakes. I shouldn't get a pat on the back for singing songs and teaching my three year old her abc's and 123's. And I really shouldn't feel bogged down because I have to spend time with my 7 year old during her "stay up time" where she gets to stay up an hour later than her sisters. I should be grateful that my husband has chosen a career path where I am lucky enough the be able to stay home with my girls. I am their mother, first and foremost.
I found that in my mind, I would become so centered on the fact that it was all about me..and I would forget that the good things in life are the three angels sitting in front of me. My one, two, three blessings. The reasons I want to wake in the morning. The purpose of my existence. I didn't need food, or massages, or a long shower to realize that I was enjoying life and all that comes with it. I'm happy, and boy am I happier than ever.
So what changed? Of course having my husband ground me helped, but I feel like this all started when I started breathing in the Balance essential oil blend. It has such a profound grounding feeling, and no matter if I diffuse it, rub it on my feet/neck/chest, or simply rub my hands together with a drop in there and inhale, I find such a sense of anxiety release. Between balance and serenity, I dont know where my life would be. I am sleeping better, feeling better, and ultimately with those two things in check, I'm eating better and acting better. My kids are seeing a more delightful me, and I'm so happy.
I know I talk a lot about how much I love my doTERRA oils, but I don't know how to say it any other way. They are changing my life, and with the help of my up-line I am truly blessed to be growing my business by sharing what I love so passionately. I'm not selling something no one needs...I'm selling something I personally use every day and honestly couldn't live without. And I'm not even selling it...I feel like I am sharing it. I want the people I love the most to be involved in something natural and pure that works. I couldn't imagine my life would have taken this turn but I'm so glad it did and I can't wait to see whats in store.
Good Night!
Jenn
www.mydoterra.com/doterrabyjennifer
No comments:
Post a Comment